o It's always darkest just before dawn . So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
o Don't be irreplaceable . If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
o Always remember that you're unique . Just like everyone else.
o Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
o If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
o Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
o If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
o Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
o If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
o If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
o Everyone seems normal until you get to know them .
o The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
o A closed mouth gathers no foot.
o Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
o There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
o Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
o Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
o Never miss a good chance to shut up.
o Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
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Some comedy English Stuff:
"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"
Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette... ? "
Class teacher once said : " pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
once Hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to America.."
"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."
Dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....
it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the
fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said " why is fan not oning" (ing
form of on)
teacher in a furious mood... write down ur name and father of ur name!!
"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"
"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board
"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code.. "I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??
Seing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class.. "Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"
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